Conquering the past is dedicated to help people who have suffered at the hands of others.  There are many ways to experience trauma; sexual abuse, domestic violence, assault, divorce, rape, eating disorders, homelessness, etc.

If you are a victim of trauma and are suffering from these abuses, I hope you can find the help you need to conquer the fear and anger keeping you from living your best life.

First you must determine if you are a victim.  A victim is a person harmed or injured by the hands of because of a crime or assault or some action causing pain to you.  If you have been hurt or assaulted by someone then you are a victim.

Second you must determine if this trauma is keeping you from living your best life.  Are you anxious because of their actions?  Do you live in fear someone else is going to hurt you? If their actions prevent you from living your best life, you are remaining a victim even if the trauma is no longer happening to you.

There are 7 steps to determine if you are a victim.

1. Do you think others are out to hurt you?
2. Do you think others have malicious intent?
3. Do you feel like you don’t have control over situations?
4. Do you hold on to a grudge?
5. Do you get defensive easily?
6. Do you vent how others have hurt you to your family and friends?
7. Do you assume you will not get what you want so why try?

If you have these thoughts and feelings, you may have a victim mentality.

Now that you’ve determined you are a victim and are suffering from the trauma inflicted upon you, what is your next step?

The first step is to recognize we tend to act like a victim. Awareness is key to seeing the cycle and to make changes. Finding ways to take ownership of our lives can help us start finding ways to attack problems head-on and let go of the helplessness that comes with feeling of being a victim.

Setting boundaries can help you from succumbing to situations in which you feel powerless. Having clear boundaries means you recognize situations in which you are not comfortable. When you stick to your boundaries, you are less likely to find yourself in situations where you feel like a victim.  This is not easy because once you have been hurt, it is sometimes difficult to stand up to those who hurt you.  Some victims freeze when faced with uncomfortable situations.

It’s never too late to learn a new way of thinking and coping. One of the beautiful things about self-awareness is you alone have the power to change your mind and to change your thinking for the better.